Clue: allergies, weather, house-hunting.
Answer: What’s bringing Lizzy down this weekend?
I have literally been at my desk for 40 minutes trying to figure out how to teach the stuff my county doesn’t tell me how to teach in order to meet state laws that ask us to shove personal finance into the government course, along with environmental policy, and test it on the mandatory final when its nonsensical and just.doesn’t.fit right now. Oh and my AP kids take their test in 15 hours. I’m so not ready to deal with all this shit. Oh and I broke up a fight today.
School doesn’t end until June 14 but our seniors get out on the 30th. Thanks to AP and state testing, I only have a couple days left with my seniors. They take their AP exam Friday Morning. I won’t see many of them after that. I am looking forward to having 4-6 kids left once they’re gone. But I’m going to miss them so much. I thought I loved my ninth-graders last year. But these seniors. They’re special. They were my first class at my school in their sophomore year. They’re crazy and obnoxious. But they’re also hardworking and motivated and funny, and mostly just good people. I can’t wait to see who they grow to be in college.
I teach so many young people who have a plan- go to xyz university, get abc degree, go get a job, a house, get married, be happy. And for so many of them, some version of that will happen.
For others, college is a big fat maybe, at best. They’ll start at the community college, maybe finish, maybe find a career/vocational plan. But they’ll get by and be happy enough.
Others still have signed the papers and have ship dates. Some chose this to just get the heck out of here; many are following family footsteps. Most of them will be okay too.
But the other ones. I am so so scared for them. When you ask what they’re going to do this summer or next year they shrug, or change the subject. A few tell me “get a job.” Some will be okay, some less okay. We worry over them all.
But the real, scariest, part that won’t quit tugging at me, are the kids who don’t even know if they’re going to make it to May 30. One turned 18 on Friday and plans to move out of his house tomorrow to live with a friend while they finish out the year. But his ship date for the military isn’t for 7 weeks after graduation. I can’t do anything; he’s 18. Sadly, its probably the best move for him. But still, it breaks my heart to watch an 18-year old boy tell you that nothing’s changed in the two years since his mom chose a boyfriend over him and sent him away, that his dad truly doesn’t love him when thats all he could want in the world. It breaks my heart to read it all over his face and know how true and terrible it all is.
And he’s not the only one. And it just breaks my heart. I can teach but I can’t fix it all. And that hurts too.